And for those of you who have no clue about diabetes [because, hey, it doesn't affect you right?], well let me tell you, it does change your life. It’s not just about not eating too many cakes or whether or not to have that extra biscuit with your cuppa, it’s also all about how you feel overall. A healthy diet can keep it in control but not always. Sometimes, there is absolutely no explanation as to why your sugars go up one day and down the next. Worries and stress automatically make your glucose levels climb and for each individual inflicted with diabetes, there are certain foods which can send you into the land of Goo Goo Ga Ga. The thing is, it is not always so easy to ascertain which food it is exactly that does this to you. I knew one guy in Australia who could eat doughnuts and cake by the bucket load, but give him a piece of white bread – and whoa – call the ambulance before he took his last bite. And it’s not just sugar. Personally, I can eat a spoon of sugar and not feel any affect, but if I eat a piece of cheesecake with sugars and fats combined, it’s on the elevator to the top floor of the Glucose skyscraper and then weeks trying to get it down again.

And as much as we like to make our lives perfect and do the right thing – don’t eat this, don’t get stressed, drop all those foods you once loved but can no longer enjoy, the fact is, it is bloody hard work. You turn to sugar substitutes and this may sound like an easy option, but even now, years later, I hate the stuff. I can use it in some foods and meals, but in coffee – no way Jose! Of course, then there is the problem of this nice little ingredient in many of the substitute sugars, called Aspartame, which when you read about it, makes your skin crawl and gives you an excellent reason not to touch it at any cost.

Ok, so you avoid cakes and sweets and confectionary of any kind. Not too bad really. But then you shouldn’t really drink alcohol and believe it or not, most foods contain sugar of some description, especially prcoessed foods. Cheese has sugars, sliced meats have sugars, and as for prepared food and sauces, don’t even bother thinking about eating them. So, what do you eat? Well vegetables are fine, so hunker down on those raw carrots and eat mushrooms raw instead of a biscuit. You are not advised to eat too much fruit, even though fruit sugars will not cause as much trouble as processed sugars, but one banana a day is plenty and perhaps an apple and a strawberry even [as long as you climb Mount Everest to work it off].

Good little diabetics who are clean citizens, run scout clubs and give lots of money to charity, will argue with me that diabetes is not such a bad thing and that with discipline and self-control, it is possible [no, make that really EASY] to live a normal life and not let diabetes spoil anything at all. The thing is, I like to enjoy my life and truth be told, I love cheese and bread, and sauces with my food and even [gasp] the occasional session with some alcohol. I have never liked rabbit food and doubt I ever will.

So right now, my sugars are way out of control. It’s probably my fault because I haven’t cared one bit lately as to what I eat. Stress, real stress and real anxiety that is, will do this to a person. You see, discovering that my wife has cancer and does not have much longer to live, has proven to be a bit much for me and I have gone off the rails with my controlled dietary intake – and shot my glucose levels skyward and beyond. But it’s not just what I have eaten – it is the stress itself. Diabetics aim for a sugar level somewhere between 4 and 7 mmol [maybe creeping up to 10 mmol after a meal]. My levels are currently running at an avergae of 23 mmol so I guess it is no wonder I am feeling like crap most of the time. Tiredness, lethargy, sore eyes, sore body, constantly wanting to drink water, water, water and then there is this other problem that diabetics get, but shhh, we don’t want anyone to know.

The doctors refer to it as Genital Itch which just makes me want to drop my trousers and show them just what an itch can look like. It’s not an itch – it’s a bloody nightmare! It’s pain. WILLY PAIN to be exact! And it makes your willy look like a foreign alien has taken over your body. I tell you, here in England they have a dessert called Spotted Dick, and I simply cannot stop myself from laughing whenever I see them in the shops. I relate to it Big Time! It’s a very apt name.

Diabetes! It’s not fun at all…