The world has lost a truly beautiful person this evening as Anja took her final breath and finally passed away, peacefully as she slept. Her short but difficult fight with cancer is now over and she can rest in peace forever. I am too broken to write all the words that are in my heart, but for those of us who knew Anja, we know she can never be replaced. She was a very unique individual who touched the hearts of all she met. Her loving spirit will live on in all of us and her memory will never be forgotten. I am now a broken and shattered soul who will never find true happiness again, but I feel honoured and privileged to have known Anja, to have been her husband and to have shared so many happy times together as one soul.  Above all else, Anja was my best friend and the love of my life. Goodbye my angel. I will love you till my dying day. I can never let you go... The sun is always shining even when it is dark!

This may not be the most well-presented piece of text I have ever written, but it is from my heart. And anyway, I really do not care. To write it now, this minute - helps me stay sane. In the past 72 hours, Anja's condition has very rapidly declined. 3 days ago she could still hold a half-coherent conversation with me. She was extremely tired but still chose to sit out of bed for much of the time. Her appetite significantly dropped but she could still chew a few mouthfuls of food at some points throughout the day. She still chose to suffer in pain and make the effort to leave her bed and use the bathroom. Her dignity remained intact. We could hug. We could smile at each other. We could communicate. 2 days ago, Anja was simply too tired to sit up, she could not stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time and she stopped eating almost completely. A few crisps and a spoon of icecream was all she could take in. Sleep took over. She tried to smile but her energy levels were too low. She held my hand in hers and looked contented as ...

Many of the recent posts on this site have focused on the struggle and difficulties we have faced in light of Anja's diagnosis of cancer. And as much as we certainly do have enormous difficulty coping with all of this every single day, we also make sure we have time to smile, laugh and even joke around about it all. The only crazy thing with all of this though, is that even though WE can laugh, when we mention this attitude to other people they look at us as if we have truly lost the plot. The thing is, even before all this came upon us, we both knew exactly how we felt about death and all it entails. The whole 'funeral thing' has been an issue with which we see absolutely no point. Consequently, there has been a very strong element of truth in our jokes when we say to each other 'When I die, just throw me in the wheelie bin - and remember to close the lid.' I mean, isn't the way in which we all choose to be 'disposed', totally up to each individual? Sure, we need a clean, sanitary method and we are not against other ...

Please note before reading: this may sound like a letter of complaint, a long-winded whinge or perhaps even selfish of me to write. However, it is none of the above. It is simply an update on our situation and the reality of our lives after Anja being diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Less than 4 months ago, life felt extremely different than it does for us right now. In fact, it was only back in March over the Easter weekend, that we went up to Edinburgh and came away with a plan to start a new life there within the next 12 to 18 months. One week later that dream was shattered of course, when we were told the devastating news that Anja had lung cancer. And at the risk of sounding totally depressed, pessimistic and out of hope, I have to say in all honesty, it's very much been a downhill trip from that point to where we are now. Obviously, the news that Anja does not have long to live, is in itself hard to deal with, but as the last few months have passed, our daily way of life has also been shaken to the core. Life for us, ...

As part of Anja's ongoing analysis of her illness, the next step after the bronchoscopy and CT scan, was to undergo a further scan known as a PET scan. PET stands for Positron Emission Tomography. This scan is more intensive and is done in order to take a deeper look at what is happening within the body. With a PET scan you first have an injection of a very small amount of a radioactive drug (tracer). The amount of radiation is very small – no more than you have during a normal X-ray. It only stays in the body for a few hours. Depending on which drug you have, the radioactive drug will travel to particular parts of your body. The most common drug is fluorine 18, also known as FDG-18. This is a radioactive version of glucose. When FDG-18 is injected into your body it travels to places where glucose is used for energy. It shows up cancers because they use glucose in a different way from normal tissue. And it will show up changes in tissues that use glucose as their main source of energy for example, the brain. [via] Unfortunately, ...